rain

I'm I love when it rains. Days it rains are the days everyone thinks of it as a perfect day to stay at home. Which is kind of how I feel everyday. I could be perfectly content in my home, alone everyday.

Thats how I used to feel everyday.

The other day I had a melt down. Sad that every time I go somewhere that I have a worry in the back of my head. And it sucks so much to constantly have that worry, but then I remember how far I have come and that I actually can go places again and do things again. The fact that I can actually leave my house is so much of an improvement its unbelievable. Its hard to think positive sometimes when things still aren't how normal I used to be but I just need to remember how far I have come.

Today its raining and its true I am half of me is content sitting at home but a part of me that hasn't happened in a while wants to go out and do adventurous things and live life like a crazy teenager. Because I know me though I will stay home and bake instead but I am so unbelievably happy that I even want to go out on an adventure

The other night I went to concert. In another freaking city two hours away with people who didn't even really know about my anxiety. My stomach hurt on and off the whole time and I was for sure holding back on being crazy and having fun which made me super upset. But I did it and overall it was fun and Im working on being positive so I am happy with that for now.

Sincerely,

Your anxious but optimistic blogger